Ghosts on the Playground
by lanternemagique
Summary: Deathly Hallows SPOILERS!      Snape goes to a transition place where he meets Lily. Disclaimer: I quote from the book in one place, and the characters and background are Rowling's.


Harry's green, almond shaped eyes disappeared, and along with them, the dark interior of the Shrieking Shack.

Snape was lying on his side, on the floor of a white silver forest. He was alone. He stood up, looking at the hazy tree trunks that surrounded him like ghosts. He knew this place as if from a dream.

In the distance to his left, he heard the squeak of a chain, a familiar sound. He turned and began moving in the direction of the playground, because he now knew that the sound was coming from the swings. A deep fog ahead kept him from seeing what he was looking for, but his heart, if he had still had one in his body, would have beat faster. Instead, the change that came over him was like a temperature drop. He recognized below and before him, as he took a few steps forward, the bush behind which he had once spied on two girls, no, one girl, with dark red hair and green, almond shaped eyes.

The fog cleared. In a swing in front of him sat Lily, the adult Lily, without moving, simply staring at him, a shape made of intense light, and although she said nothing, he felt as if he could hear her shouting. But there was no blame, no anger. It was pure shouting, as if she was trying to wake him. And she kept staring at him with her large, almond shaped eyes.

Snape took two steps forward, advanced slowly towards Lily, and then knelt, as if she were a goddess, to whose judgment he was now submitting himself.

He wanted to lower his head, but he was afraid of losing her, and he kept his eyes fixed on her, fastened on her eyes, even while kneeling.

"You called me, and I came" Lily spoke. She stood up from the swing and took a step toward him. Snape stood up. He felt strange. Lily seemed to be older, much older. He felt like a boy of twelve.

"Yes, you were not a man" Lily said.

She came forward until she faced him, eye level, a foot away. And then, she reached for his hand, and took it in her own.

"You were very brave, Sev," she added. "But tell me, what did you do wrong?"

Snape saw himself, through her presence, through her eyes, through her questions, and through her hand. He felt himself mature.

"I was jealous, Lily. Bitter. Brutal. I was..." if Snape still had blood, he would have blushed: "prejudiced."

Lily's shape came into focus, although still made of intense light.

"And you are sorry?" she asked. "For hating Harry?"

"It was hard" Snape said, and stopped. He had a strange feeling that he was talking to Lily, but not only to Lily. Also to God. How could God be present in Lily?

"It is hard" he said.

Lily let go of Snape's hand and came even closer, to his side, and put her arm around his shoulders.

"Harry appreciates what you have done, Sev. And the love that you had for me..."

Snape saw, as Lily held him around the shoulders, the swings before them disappear, and instead a fragment of train station materialize, hazy at the edges, but made of real colors, and a boy with Lily's eyes stand before a man who looked like James, kneeling before him: "Albus Severus" James said to his son.

Snape saw the boy with Lily's eyes. He heard his name, the name Severus. He saw that the boy who looked like Lily had been named to honor him. He heard James, no, an older Harry, say: "you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."

The bravest... "That is..." Snape said slowly, as he felt his substance shift, like a change in weather, "that is love."

The train station disappeared, and instead, Snape saw James stand before him at the same distance, where the boy and the older Harry had been.

Before he had a chance to speak or think, Lily took a step forward, still holding onto Snape's shoulders, drawing him beside her and toward James. Snape felt protected, and he watched James, whose face was dark, a bit like a storm, not angry, nor sad.

"James, I would like you to meet my best friend, Severus." Lily said. "Severus loves me, and I love him."

James stood and listened. Snape waited.

"Sev, I would like you to meet my husband, James. I love James, Sev."

James moved forward, serious, and looked at Snape. Snape looked back at him.

"Are you read to move on?" Lily turned to Snape.

"If you lead me, Lily" Snape answered.

James nodded. And then, as if a moment or a century passed, the place where James had been was empty.

"Look ahead" Lily said. She pointed towards the end of the street, where a bright sun seemed to be blazing through the fog.

"Stay with me" Snape asked, feeling himself become small again, twelve years old.

Lily sighed.

"I won't leave you, Sev. Come" and she took his hand in hers, and began to walk with sure steps towards the end of the street, where the light was bright.

As he walked, hand in hand with Lily, Snape felt the need to turn his head, to look back at the world he was leaving behind. And he saw, where the swing set had been, another Lily and James, walking away in the opposite direction.

"Don't worry, Sev" Lily leaned in. "I am with you." And they moved forward and stepped into the light, where they vanished.


End file.
